The Level Zero of Blogging

Well since today is my first ever blog I decided to mark the occasion with another first...I go my first pedicure! You see I have, for the last thirty odd years, ignored my toe daggers and that changed today. Like any other manly man I always considered the habits of metrosexuals just another homosexual activity. I am here to admit that proper toenail hygiene is just good sense and was quite an enjoyable experience. I had been driven towards this day for quite some time. It was alway an incredible hassle cutting my toe nails because they were always so hard, brittle and sharp. I would always put off cutting them until I wobbled around like Frankenstein shying away from any vague movement that threaten my feet. Everytime I had to clip them I would spend an hour either bent over the tub or contoured on the bed bent into a sick human pretzel. My back would freeze up in a muscular seizure that would eventually lead to the bloody hacking of my toes. After so many years I had had enough...I was seeking professional help.

I first problem was entering the "salon". Now if they wanted more guys to be able to make this cross over successfully they are going to have to come up with a better "manly" word. Some word that would involke a less "girly" visual. I timidly went in, coughed and said in my most roughedly deep voice, "I'ld like a pedicure". Looking at me with great compassion the understanding the little asian lady guided me to the back. What I found there was a blush super pedicure chair. This chair was a totally tricked out station not for a pedicurist, but a pedicur-artist to work their magic. Firstly I was treated to a salted foot soak then we moved on to a nail trimming just to get warmed up. Now since this was my first time I decided that the ultimate all inclusive mega pedicure was called needed. I had now idea what that mean until the little asian lady whipped out a rotary grinding tool and started to work on my toe nails. After the smoke cleared I was impressed by the results so far. My nails were indeed tamed, but we were only half way there. Next was the exopliant creams to address my dead skin. This was aplied in liberal quantities to my lower legs and feet. At the same time the my torture produced a batter mixing device with this circular brillo pad attached. Now I feel that I this point I must warn you. If you are ticklish you may not make it throug this part, and there is nothing more gay than a manly man giggling while having his feet scrapped by a tiny asian lady. Enough said.

Well I finally made it through and had much better feet due to the experience. Guys if you are in a rut and need to break into a new thought process I definitely reccommend getting a pedicure. It will dial you into your feminine side without too gay an experience and give you something to share with your significant other.